Engaging Adolescents: Parenting Tough Issues with Teenagers by Michael Hawton

Author:Michael Hawton
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781775593355
Publisher: Exisle
Published: 2017-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

PART THREE

CASE STUDIES AND WORKSHEETS TO USE AT HOME

8

THREE SERVES OF PASTA

The Coopers

To help us get started with the PASTA process we’re going to look at a family with three teenagers. The Coopers have dealt with some pretty common problems while bringing up their three teenagers, such as the over-use of technology, not getting enough sleep, ignoring curfews and risk-taking behaviour. In this chapter, we’re going to look at how the Coopers overcame these problems and how they resolved the issues satisfactorily through engaging in some tough conversation with their three teenage children.

Before we get started though, I think it’s timely to revisit a few things in a summary form. Then we’ll get straight into the case studies.

To recap:

' Mums and dads with their fully mature minds are in a much better position to work out what behaviour crosses the line than are teenagers. There will be plenty of room for teenagers to explore their surroundings, seek novelty and push boundaries, but a major job of parents is one of appropriate containment. It is not about spoiling their fun — although some displeasure may happen along the way.

' All things being equal, you won’t have to intervene as much in your teenagers’ lives the older they get. If you’ve put some good guardrails in place you can reasonably expect that they will move through their teenage years without too many disruptions to their normal development.

' Assuming they are sleeping well and not using drugs or alcohol, or too much aggro-inducing technology, we can also assume that most teens are capable of premeditation, which is a necessary condition for being able to hesitate long enough to make good decisions. We can reasonably expect their ability to exert self-control will kick in most of the time.

' Finally, to get the best out of tough conversations, you’ll need to approach them like you’re solving a problem with a neighbour, calmly and matter-of-factly

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